Camp Grandma: When The Kids Are Away, The Parents Will Play

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My kids are out of school for a very LONG winter break so when my mother-in-law suggested we pack the kids up for a trip to their house I jumped on carefully considered the possibility.  I feel really comfortable sending them away with my in-laws since they are extremely high energy, they love to go to fun places, and my MIL is a former educator and can handle pretty much any kid nonsense they can throw her way.  Most importantly, our kids adore them.  In fact, I always get a little jealous because, after a week with my in-laws, my kids will look at me and realize how boring I really am.  I really did hit the jack pot in the in-law lottery.

Unfortunately, their trip to grandma camp was supposed to start right after Thanksgiving but was delayed by a week because of a virus.  Damn you, school germs.  As sad as everyone was about this it did afford my husband and I an extra seven days to consider all of the possibilities and opportunities that next week can bring. Here is the to-do list that we have created so far…

  1. Spend lots and lots of time together.  We’re all adults here so I don’t need to elaborate why this is #1 on the to-do list.  It does, however, go closely with #2…
  2. Cross fingers and wish on a star for a big snow and the possibility of getting snowed in.  I’ve got a fireplace, candles, and lots of soft, warm blankets.  Yeah, don’t worry about us.  We’ll be fine. We will dig ourselves out sometime in January.
  3. Not do all of the things that I nag my kids to do like: make the bed, pick up after myself, hang up towels, put laundry in the hamper.  We will continue to brush our teeth consistently or it will make #1 much less pleasant.
  4. Buy all the junk food that I say no to at the grocery store checkout.  My kid is peanut allergic so I plan on eating Reese’s until I barf without guilt.  Maybe a little guilt, but nothing that I can’t live with.
  5. We will go out to dinner and order dessert first. Let’s live dangerously.  Life’s short.
  6. We will only watch movies that do not include talking animals, lego people, or singing princesses.
  7. We will watch movies that Common Sense Media would deem inappropriate – all the movies hidden at the far end of our Netflix queue.  Oh, stop it.  You know you’ve got them too.
  8. I will let my husband talk me into trying adult beverages that I’ve never tried before.  What can I say, beards and whiskey make me frisky.  And then we will…
  9. Learn to play True American like a pro.  Check out this New Girl clip on YouTube.  Looks like fun, right?!….New Girl’s True American  
  10. I will spend the next week NOT yelling at people to flush the toilet and wash their hands.
  11. I will also NOT spend the next week smelling hands to be sure they are telling the truth.  Hey, being a mom isn’t always pretty.
  12. I will finish my Christmas shopping in a relaxing manner.  There will be no kids tugging at my shirt, falling on the floor, and whining that they are bored.  Never mind.  My husband will probably fill this role for them.
  13. I will wrap presents without having to be a ninja.  I will boldly do it out in the open, without shame.
  14. We will order unhealthy takeout and eat it on the couch…in the living room.  We’re rebels like that.
  15. We will go play downtown and stay out way past bedtime.  In the dark.  When the streetlights are on.
  16. We won’t even have a bedtime.  (Don’t judge.  We’ve been parents for a long time.)
  17. We will enjoy adult conversation and talk about old times and the trouble that we always got ourselves into, once upon a time.  Bonus: we won’t have two little heads pop up unexpectedly and ask, ‘What does that mean? Can I do it too?’
  18. We will not censor ourselves and will curse freely and openly.  Like sailors on shore leave.
  19. I will eat my meals completely.  I will enjoy being full because I don’t have two little mini-predators asking if they can have something (usually everything) on my plate.
  20. I will not allow myself to cry but I will miss them terribly.  I may or may not sneak into their rooms and smell their pillows or their clothes in the closet.  I am excited about a week of adult freedom but I’m not a heartless monster.  I will also remember that I will need to enjoy it all I can because in one short week, I will hear nothing but, “well, grandma let me (fill in the blank). **

**We are always open to creative suggestions and additions.

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