Get It Right: On Line Dating
We matched on Tinder.
We chatted for two days.
We exchanged numbers.
We texted for “real” on the phone.
We had an actual speaking conversation for fucksake…it was like we knew each other for years! He said all the right things; I was über witty. We continued texting on and off for a week, and even scheduled a date. A good date…At a hot spot uptown. So exciting! This is it for sure!! Then, the night before we were supposed to meet..NOTHING.
The douche goes black.
And when I say black, I don’t mean he decided to take his coffee sans the cream. Or is it dark? Oh whatever. I’m saying the fucker stopped calling. Stopped texting…never to be heard from again. What the hell? What kind of human being pulls that shit? It’s not nice, or kind. It’s just flat out rude. But it happens all the time! Getting “ghosted”, and it’s old already. C’mon, at least come up with something new! Yawn. Although passé, it’s still a total bunch of bullshit. And women do it too! Trust me, this behavior isn’t gender specific. But it has become completely acceptable. And here’s why: because of the lack of human interaction and contact. Yup! Hear me out, ok? Taking the “face-to-face” away from the initial courting process has stripped us of all emotion. We have zero reason to feel any guilt for hurting another person’s feelings. “Who really cares if I cancel a date? I don’t really know her anyway.” Or, “I’ll never see him again.” Right? Wrong.
You have formed a connection! That person receiving your texts is in fact a human. And even though they might not “know” you yet for “real”…they feel like the do. Let’s have some fucking Online Dating Etiquette shall we? Let’s take a deep breath and remember that there actually is a HUMAN with feelings getting those blue bubbles! I get it, I do. Texting makes it all too easy. We have super-human-chutzpah! You say things you would NEVER say in person. Am I right? And it’s so easy to LIE via text, too. They can’t see your face, or your body language when you’re canceling your date, to go out with the other women you met the night before. #tinderho
Look, I’m guilty. No one is perfect! We all date multiple people at the beginning of relationships. How else are you supposed to navigate these muddy waters? But there is a NICE way to handle yourself. Be honest. Be clear, and upfront. Just tell each other what you’re deal is…and then use your words! Ghosting is bull-fucking shit. Grab a pair, and own your shit. Tell her you’re not coming to meet her. Say you met another guy, and you’re going to give it a shot. Just the other day, I canceled on a guy. But I was HONEST. I sucked it up, and I told him the truth. And he appreciated my honesty (or not). But hey, I could sleep that night.
Dating isn’t easy, but do yourself a solid…and stop making it harder. Stop lying. Stop treating people like just another online profile. And for the love of Goddess, treat each other the way YOU would want to be treated. Return a text in a timely manner, or at least try. If you just aren’t “feeling it” big whoop! But don’t HOLD onto one dude, while you’re waiting to see how the other guy pans out on Saturday night. #bumblebitch
Be that person you would want your son or daughter texting with…Or swiping right on. Because hear this, on-line dating IS here to stay! And our kiddos are going to be doing this shit for a long, long time. And if my sons ever treat a woman the way some of these guys have treated me, I’ll kick their little asses. And men, think about a guy GHOSTING your daughter after a week of texting, and what she thought was a good connection. Ya, feels a little bit different now doesn’t it?
Ok, who wants to be EXTRA sweet to that person you’re talking to right now? Excellent! My work is done here. 😉