Global Warming and Plastic Surgery on the Rise…Together
I have a delightful friend with great gams and green eyes who can charm the pants off most men. However, the one part of her body that causes her agita each time she dresses, and is almost guaranteed never to come into fashion like Nikki Minaj’s bum, is my friend’s abdomen. Each year, the specter of a future tummy tuck looms before her: expensive, requiring anesthesia, and a very me-me gift. Her abdomen guilts her into focusing on the superficial while she’s still in the trenches as a mom. Kids have needs, households are expensive to run, but the tummy, for us former bikini wearers, stands a solid reminder of the youth and vigor we gave up to birth our children. If you could see the puckered slackening skin around my navel (in light of this season’s crop top trend, no less) here is my own reminder of the effect of gaining and losing a total of 230 pounds within a three year span. That’s a baby Orca for crying out loud.
And yet I personally don’t know any woman, vain or humble, who wouldn’t take another beating to her formerly hot bod in order to have the experience of delivering her children. Look around. Even Victoria Secret models have babies! But a tummy tuck can be pricey and not a “reasonable” expense for a “reasonable parent” when what that household actually needs is a…Power Generator! Move over Gisele, here comes Mad Max. Since our town began experiencing wacky weather patterns – no doubt the cumulative result of global warming – power outages are now prepared for and expected. My friend finally did the responsible parent-y thing; after several storms, she broke down and purchased a generator for her home. Her family could now flush, brush, eat, sleep toasty, and see where they were walking, all thanks to my friend setting aside enough money in her household budget to install a power generator. So now that business is taken care of, why can’t a woman sit back and enjoy a good old-fashioned tummy tuck?