I Dated Christian Grey for Four Years

christian gray

Mom, Dad, please do not read this. Ok?? You may not look at me the same. Consider yourselves warned!

It’s true. I dated Christian Grey for four years. Yes, Mr. Grey is a fictional name but let me tell you… for all intents and purposes, he was mine. And believe me, I enjoyed it all. He poured on the affection, the gifts, the attention and of course…. The passion. The. Man. Was. Hot. And he made me feel things I never had felt before and had only fantasized about. And it was that way for four years… Four amazing and spellbinding years.

But it’s over now. And while I am sad that it reached its end, I am eternally grateful for having shared it all with him. It’s hard to imagine I will never again find myself in his “red room.”

My name is not Anna. Unlike the naïve and innocent young woman, I went into this relationship with eyes wide open, expecting the fire ahead. Coming out of my sixteen-year relationship with my ex, I am thankful that Mr. Grey found me. I asked the universe for him after all. I asked for a man that would introduce me to a different, new side of myself. A man that inspired me to be self expressed, however raw and deep things got. A man that allowed me the freedom to let go, wherever that would lead us. And I loved the feeling the two of us shared in those moments. It was a place nobody had taken me and he loved showing me the way.

The Law of Attraction teaches, “Like attracts like”. From Wikipedia on The Law of Attraction: “New Thought authors believe that the law of attraction is always in operation and that it brings to each person the conditions and experiences that they predominantly think about, or which they desire or expect.” For years and years (ok, pretty much my entire marriage) I craved intimacy. I wanted passion. I wanted deep exploration and the freedom to express myself. Only I felt trapped and betrayed by the decision I made which was to commit to a man I felt no true passion for. Because, at the time I met him, I attracted what I desired. In my twenties I desired to be with a man that loved my humor, my work ethic, my love for family. I pictured a man who wanted to be in a committed relationship and wanted to marry me and have a family (and it also didn’t hurt that a psychic only months before predicted the chance meeting almost in the exact way we met- that’s a whole other story).

Remember when Fifty Shades was all the hype? I remember being all consumed with the tale of the unknowing Anna and how she came to “blossom” in Grey’s control. As I turned each sex-drenched page of Fifty Shades, I became more and more aware that I was never going to experience any sort of excitement like Anna, because I felt ZERO for my husband. And if I had to be honest with myself, it was zero from the start. That was yet another red flag ( http://suburbanmisfitmom.com/the-red-flags-were-there-i-chose-to-ignore-them/ ). I couldn’t stop my thoughts and feel the weight of loss, aware that my marriage would always leave me feeling unfulfilled on a passionate and intimate level. Something had been dead inside. That’s when I unknowingly put the “Law of Attraction” into play.

When my husband and I became separated my mind started exploring the possibility of having wild, crazy, passionate, toe curling, sweaty, dirty, raw (you get my point) sex with a man that I was insanely attracted to. And the universe gave me my wish. When our eyes met, I knew he found me and my life was about to be turned upside down (along with my body in various positions).

Mr. Grey changed my life. He was incredibly sexy, intense and always made time for me even though he worked almost 24/7. He loved making me feel insanely satisfied as well as feminine and adored. I loved his smell, his taste, his body. When we were not together I ached for his touch, his kisses on me, his arms to engulf me. He helped me understand what I had long craved for and gave it to me. Again and again.

Because I fear my parents ignored the first line of my writing, I can’t go in to detail about our trysts. I also want to keep these oh-so-intimate memories to myself. Sorry to let you down but I have to try and remain a lady after all.

My time with Mr. Grey is over. Although a bit sad, I have a wealth of “material” when I need it. And it’s nice to look back and remember those wild and crazy nights. After an intense relationship like the one I had, I won’t soon forget them. Thank you Mr. Grey….

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