I’m Not That Pinterest Mom

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Some moms spend hours every day searching on pinning on Pinterest. I’m not that mom.

Some moms pin their own recipes, crafts, and décor with their own photos from their own lives. I’m not that mom.

Some moms make cute little signs for their kids’ first day of school. I’m not that mom.

Some moms cut their kids sandwiches into shapes like stars or monsters. I’m not that mom.

Some moms make eyes, noses, and mouths on said sandwiches. I’m not that mom.

Some moms pack their kids’ lunches full of colors so it looks like the bento box threw up a rainbow. I’m not that mom.

Some moms pin organic, vegan, sugar-free, gluten-free, dairy-free, flour-free, nut-free, egg-free baked goods. I’m not that mom.

Some moms pin healthy recipes, workout tips, and motivational posters. I’m not that mom.

Some moms pin creative ways for their little ones to play with food. I’m not that mom.

Some moms look for non-screen related activities to entertain their kids when school is closed. I’m not that mom.

Some moms host holiday-themed playdates like gingerbread house or Halloween cookie making.  I’m not that mom.

Some moms pin busy binders to keep their children occupied during long trips. I’m not that mom.

Some moms seek out tips for how to deal with tantrums and meltdowns and be a better parent. I’m not that mom.

Some moms live and die by their Pinterest boards. I’m not that mom.

Here is the mom I am. I’m the mom who pins clothing and hair and makeup styles, even though on most days I rock the yoga pants, messy hair, don’t care look. I pin adorable crafts on Pinterest all the time—crafts I will never make or epically fail at if I try. I’m the mom who outsources to those who are way more creative than me—Etsy people I can pay to craft for me. I’m the mom who saves the most delicious looking recipes to my food board—recipes I will make my husband cook for my child and me. I’m the mom who loves and owns too many cookbooks and serving platters, but sucks at cooking and really doesn’t enjoy it if I’m being entirely honest. I’m the mom who is not above cereal for dinner. I’m the mom who is awesome at the microwave, takeout, and delivery. I’m the mom who had a celebratory glass of wine when Postmates came to her city.

I’m the mom with a three-year old who thinks maybe there is something wrong with me because I haven’t done one of those “1st day of…” school signs yet. I’m the mom who has secret Paleo and Whole30 boards because I’m on a new diet every week, but I don’t want you to know. I’m the mom who searches for crockpot recipes because you pour a bunch of ingredients into one place and bam! The meal is ready in time for dinner. I’m the mom who has a board for every single one of my kid’s birthdays but his birthdays never look exactly like what I pinned. I’m the mom who after killing myself to make a Pinterest inspired birthday party, books My Gym for the following year and hopes for the best. I’m the mom who hands my child the iPad the minute we get on the airplane. I’m the mom who turns on the TV during rainy and snowy days. I’m the mom who turns on the TV on sunny days too. I’m the mom who wants to bake with her child, but gets cold feet because of the mess he might make. I’m the mom who hates messy.

I’m the mom who only steals ideas from other pinners. I’m the mom who wishes her Pinterest boards could look pretty, polished and perfect. I’m the mom who doesn’t believe your life is actually pretty, polished, and perfect, no matter how much your Pinterest boards are. I’m the mom who has the board, “My Own Space,” because I like to sometimes fantasize about what my own space would look like if I got to be alone every now and then rather than living in a house filled with penises. I’m the mom who forgets to check her Pinterest for tips, advice, and ideas on anything child-related, even though I’ve pinned so many great ones to my “Kids Stuff” board. I’m the mom who sometimes remembers but is just too lazy to look. I’m just me. The mom that I am, who successfully failed at being a Pinterest mom and that’s perfectly okay.

Read the original, I’m Not That Mom here.

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