PTA Mom and Ghost Whisperer?
Conventional: it’s such a funny word. See, I was raised in a very conventional family of doctors who believed wholeheartedly in science. My grandfather was a prominent pediatrician in the community who was and still is extremely respected for his scientific mind. I am also a doctor of a different type: a doctor of feelings, as my kids call me. The real term? A clinical psychologist, who is fascinated by the human mind and its complexities. My grandfather, the aforementioned doctor and scientist, couldn’t help his oldest child when she came down with the mumps at the age of 10; he couldn’t help her when she developed juvenile onset diabetes shortly after; and he couldn’t help her when she passed away at 48 due to diabetes complications. I was 18 at the time and remember it well: in fact, I believe her life shaped who I am today – UNconventional in so many ways – and her death has likely shaped it even more.
Shortly after my Aunt passed away, I began having visits from her. At the time, I didn’t know they were visits. I, like so many, thought they were dreams. Dreams where I would know things I couldn’t have possibly known and seen things only she could have told me. This made very little sense to my scientific brain that was studying to be a clinical psychologist, to understand the human mind. So, I wrote it off as my unconscious trying to tell me something, as a good graduate student would do. And then, years later my grandfather passed away, and again similar things started happening….messages for cousins about life and love.
I could manage this: I would just call those who the messages were for and tell them I had a dream and describe to them what happened. Now that I was a practicing psychologist there was not a whole lot of room for questioning the expansiveness of the human mind across space and time and the connections that exist beyond time and space as we know it. So, I tried again to dismiss it. And then…it started happening with patients. Impressions from their loved ones who had passed, images flashing in my mind which meant nothing to me but likely something to them. Unfortunately, there was nothing I could say in these moments but to keep these messages to myself and try to understand what do to with this information.
And I have. For about 5 years I have struggled with how to understand this “gift” as people have called it. I think we all have the “gift” of intuition, just some of us choose to foster it and others do not. So, that is where I currently stand, a mother of 3 young children, an active “PTA” mom who sits on school boards and shuffles kids around and struggles with the parenting tasks that we all face.
All the while, trying to figure out how use this “gift” to continue to help heal the human soul, rather than the human mind. But until I can figure that out…I will remain conventional and anonymous.