“Real Life” Lessons

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Read, read, read. Teachers are always discussing the importance of reading for young children. All young children love to have their parents read them their favorite stories over and over again. Then, once they enter elementary school, the push increases even more as they begin learning to read on their own. Read, read, read. While I don’t disagree that reading is important and essential, it gets pretty boring reading the same story over and over again…at least it does for me. I’m tired of the usual stories about fluffy dogs who find themselves getting into mischief or superheroes that save the world just in the nick of time. I say we change it up a little bit. Let’s teach our kids some valuable real-world lessons.

Here are some short book reviews on some “not so typical” children’s books. Let’s keep it real, kids.

Dad’s New Wife “Chuck”

This is a lovely little tale about Jimmy’s dad getting re-married to his new “mommy,” Chuck. Follow Jimmy through the disappointment when he learns how judgmental and mean the other kids on the playground are about his new life.

Four Letter Words to Share on the Bus

D%#n, Sh!t, F&$%…This educational masterpiece teaches your kids to pronounce all these gems correctly and learn to use them all in the right context. Teach them young. Nothing means business like a 5-year-old dropping the F bomb. Kids will listen to that sh*%.

Controlling Your Preschool Class Through Fear

Teach your kids confidence. You are never too young to learn to dominate your friends. Take control of your preschool classroom and with these unstoppable fear tactics. It even touches on the importance of control with numbers (i.e. mini  preschool gangs). Own the playground.

Mommy’s a Bitch…What are you Going to do About it?

Take charge in your house. Show your mom who is boss. You want candy? Take it. You want to stay up late? Do it. Don’t let that bitch tell you what to do. A must read for all youngsters looking to dominate their households.

How to Meet “Friends” on the Internet

This helpful resource is a step-by-step guide on the best Google searches and all the best places on the Internet to chat with older “friends”.  This is a must read for any child that spends hours upon hours unsupervised on the Internet.

Construction Site Games

With all the urban sprawl happening today, there are construction sites everywhere you look. This book outlines entertaining and educational games for kids to play at or around construction sites. Nail guns, cement, metal scraps…there is a game for everything. It even emphasizes the importance of keeping up-to-date on your tetanus shot.

Read them all! Any one of these books would be great stocking stuffers for your little angels. Angels today…badasses tomorrow!

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