Signs

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Every public restroom that I have ever been in has a version of this sign taped on the back of the stall door:

“Please do not flush feminine products down the toilet.  They will clog the plumbing. 

Use the receptacle provided. Thank you.” 

Every time I see this, I wonder “Who the hell are these people who don’t know this?”

You could argue that they were underprivileged or somehow lacked proper training at home, but for this excuse to fly, you would have to assume that they also lived without indoor plumbing. Otherwise, they would have learned this lesson the hard way when their own toilets overflowed and spilled down the hallway toward their living room rug.

I imagine there are still a few heavily impoverished areas of the country without proper sanitation, but the ubiquitous use of these signs would imply that it is a constitutional crisis. Folks without indoor plumbing and no home-training are apparently invading our public toilets and flushing their tampons at an alarming rate.

Worse yet, they must be flushing down pads the size of a crib mattress too.

Obviously, this is not true. There are not enough people left in this country without the benefit of indoor plumbing to make this a reasonable assumption.

This begs the question, how do you get to be old enough to actually need a tampon, yet simultaneously not know that flushing it down the commode will cause a back-up of sewage for which you will be eternally sorry?

Well, unless you have some functional mental disabilities or a history of mental illness regarding using the toilet, I don’t believe this is possible either.

If this is happening with such frequency that a warning sign needs to be placed in millions of public toilets around the country, then one of two things must be happening, (1) women are deliberately vandalizing toilets – which what woman in her right mind would choose to take a public toilet out of commission? (See: mental illness above) or (2) Men-in-charge-of-public-toilets (think restaurant managers and convenience store owners) are simultaneously ignorant and terrified of a woman’s ability to take care of her personal business without tearing their stuff up.

I have to believe that 99.999% of menstruating women do not need this warning. That is the only way my world makes sense.

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