The New (and Maybe Not So Improved) Tuesdays

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So I’m not so sure about  Tuesday’s anymore. I work four ten hour shifts and Tuesday is my day off. It used to be filled with chasing kids around changing diapers making lunch, 2nd lunch and cleaning. My kids are all in school full time now. Here I sit with three baskets of laundry in front of me and beautiful weather outside and I’m contemplating a nap.

I’m bored!

I could go to the gym, which might lead to me actually taking a shower today or I could read my book…the book I have been trying to finish for 3 months now!! However I feel stuck between attacking and destroying the laundry a huge family requires me to wash dry, fold and put away (okay maybe not put away….okay maybe not folded either) or reading my book in the sun. Somehow I feel defeated by the emptiness of the house without the accompaniment of other humans. Like some how I am unable to function without chaos all around me all the time. What the fuck! I have been a mom since I was 19 years old so really I have no idea what this is like. Now reluctantly approaching 40 I have to decide on things I might Want?

What the hell is this?

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Maybe google has an answer.

I’m sure that other moms have this issue right? I mean there is stuff to do besides work, cook, clean, parent ect. right? I’m hoping so. I really want to figure out my purpose as an individual and Tuesdays could give me that if I want. One idea to the next. It’s a matter of execution. I believe I can, I pray I can. For today, on this particular Tuesday…I think the sun is calling my name and so is that nap.

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