Top 5 Most Offensive Questions for Twin Parents

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As a mom of boy/girl twins, I feel it is my doody (pun intended) to inform as many folks as I can of some of the most innocuous…and some of the most offensive questions we twin parents get asked on a regular basis. Instead of simply listing these questions numerically; however, I thought I would rank them in a way that fellow parents might understand. So without further adieu, ranked in order of how many smelly, poopy diapers each question equates to; the top 5 worst questions you can ask a twin parent:

1 poopy diaper: Are they identical?

OK, I can kind of understand this one, especially if the twins are the same gender. It’s not necessarily offensive. But, umm…. what about when the twins in question are boy/girl twins? Well, that’s just offensive to your intelligence, kind sir. All joking aside, my friends and I researched this one after hearing people ask us parents of boy/girl twins so many times that it left us scratching our heads. Did these people skip out on their sex-ed classes? Hello — genitalia is different for boys and girls, hence, it would seem logical that they could not be identical twins. However, after conducting our research, we discovered that it is in fact (very, very rarely) possible to have identical twins of different genders…but do you know of any? Yea, me either.

2 poopy diapers: Do twins run in your family?

It’s a well-meaning question that I used to get asked almost everyday when my twins were very young (and really the frequency has only lessened now because I leave my house less…to avoid being asked so many questions). Do twins run in my family? Well, technically, there are twins in my family. But that is not how I became pregnant with twins. However, I do not really feel like getting into all of that with you, stranger. So, the easier route to take here is just to tell you, “Why yes, they do!”, but then, I’m sort of lying by implying that that’s how I ended up with twins. See the ethical dilemma this innocent question poses?

3 poopy diapers: Do you have a favorite?

Oh my gawd. Really?! Yes, I have been asked this question. My response has always been no, and sometimes it is: “Yes, my favorite little boy is P, and my favorite little girl is G!”, and that is true. But between them, of course I do not have a favorite. I would never and could never. But the bigger question is…why are you asking me this??

4 poopy diapers: Boy/girl twins? Oh lucky you, you’re done!

Thank you! I am quite an indecisive person and I love a friend that can hep me make a decision. But you are not a friend. Why are you trying to help me make this decision about being done with childbearing just because I was “lucky” enough to give birth to a boy and girl at once? Do I feel lucky that I had to suffer through only one pregnancy and labor for two children? Absolutely. But I am not done…and I don’t really appreciate you telling me that I am.

5 poopy diapers: Are they natural?

This is it. This is the question that kills me. Not only is it asking me for my medical history (refer to #2, not my favorite discussion topic with strangers) but also, it is implying that my children are not real human beings. They are not earthlings, they are aliens. They are not homemade, they are store-bought. Are my children frauds? Are they “unnatural” because bringing them to life may have involved a petri dish or fertility drugs? NO. Of course they are natural, normal human beings, regardless of how they were conceived. I would hate for them to someday be made to feel insecure over this topic. This question is not harmless, and in fact has the potential to be harmful to my kids, whose ears I will surely shield if I’m asked it in front of them now that they’re almost three.

This last one is a PSA, a plea. Please, please, if you gain nothing else from this silly article. Please stop asking this question to parents of twins.

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