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Come on Gang…Mom has to Pee!

For the first two decades of my life, I may have taken something for granted. Something that I really didn’t think too much about…going to the bathroom. Alone. In the good old day I could sit on the toilet for as long as I wanted and not be bombarded with questions. I didn’t know what a little slice of heaven it actually was to pee in peace. Since I became a mom more than 8 years ago, I’ve pretty much given up on privacy completely. Now, it is no longer just me in the bathroom…it’s the whole family!

Come on gang, mom has to pee! They all follow me into the bathroom and we discuss whatever is on their mind. We are, after all, one big happy family. We even invite the animals to join us. I think the kids worry that they might miss out on something amazing for the two minutes I am away. Guess what kids? I’m not doing anything fun. Just peeing.

I’ve discovered some of the best topics to discuss all together while I am peeing. Let me share a handful of them with you:

  • What should we have for dinner?
  • Where is my baby bear? Help me find it!
  • Mom, can you sign my homework? Right now?
  • What should I wear today?
  • Mom, where is dad?
  • Mom, the dog wants to go outside. Can you let him out?
  • I just got a Chizard EX upgrade! How great is that?
  • My Barbie needs this dress on…right this second.

BUT…on the flip side…Going to the bathroom alone can also be trouble. When you are in the bathroom alone, that means your kids have free reign of your house…ALONE!  We all know how much trouble those little monsters can get into in just a couple of short minutes. Who knows what you will find when you emerge from your peaceful two-minute pee…could be marker all over the walls, kids beating the crap out of each other, a cat who has escaped outside, all the toys in the toy box dumped out…use your imagination. They can completely destroy your house in the short amount of time it takes you to pee.

As much as I do miss the good old days when I could go to the bathroom alone and take as long as I wanted, the silence and the fear they may destroy my house or each other might be a bit scarier. So, come on gang…Moms got to pee!


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