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Fake Freckles For Sale

I took on a new job that requires me to process and analyze a great deal political news. I grew up with a passion for politics, but to be honest I have been so disgruntled the past couple of years that I’ve said “turn that TV off!” and tried my best to just ignore the news. Now I’m reading and writing so much that the other night I actually dreamt about Julian Assange, Wikileaks, CNN, Obamacare, and me, arguing every point with all sorts of strangers. Last night I was determined to go to bed with something else on my mind, so I did what we all do- I went FACEBOOK SCROLLING!

I was chatting with my little sister and she was really  amused. She was the biggest Barney fan when we were kids and it drove me INSANE!! So what does my precious little grandbaby love to watch? Oh yes, the big purple dinosaur. She turned two 3 days ago, so her vocabulary is like this: “Again, again, Now, Barney, Now, Again”… Such fun! But at least I entertained my little sister. Her battle with cancer has been an unbelievable string of “we found this” and “now we found that” and “we need to check here too” and the poor girl is so tired of the poking and prodding and the removal of body parts. To know I made her crack a smile made me grin from ear to ear. I was almost giddy.

Maybe my euphoric state is partly to blame for the extreme amount of laughter that ensued towards the end of our conversation. The President’s speech was over. I was tired of the Twitter feed. I scrolled past the latest “ename test” and landed on this:

And to think! My kids got theirs for FREE!! Where do I even start?? I mean these freckles look so FAKE! I just wanna chase these girls with a sharpie and shout “Freckles for Sale, Freckles for Sale, get your Freckles!”

I bet I could make them look a lot more real than that!! Oh em gee!!

All I could think of was my oldest son, four years old, when his freckles first came in. He used to ask me where they were coming from and I told him they were angel kisses that came in his sleep.

Of course our next son didn’t have as many freckles, which meant I didn’t think the angels kissed him as often, and well, you know where it goes from there. Wrestle mania in the living room.

The funniest thing is that this past summer our adopted children, who all happen to be bi-racial, started getting freckles. The oldest one said to me one day “now I really am Daddy’s son” and my heart just melted. “Indeed, you look just like him!” I said with my heartiest smile.

Listen girls, you don’t need FAKE FRECKLES. Why do people always want the one thing they don’t have? The blondes dye their hair brown and the brunettes go for platinum and the red heads, well red heads aren’t allowed to change colors. A red head may change her shade, but she must stay in the red family. Why? Have you met a real red head? Yeah, you need that hair color to warn you. Stay on her GOOD side!!

Still, if you’re short, you’re short and if you’re tall, you’re tall. You don’t need to walk on stilts to give yourself a few inches or slouch to blend into the crowd.

Just be exactly who you are. I’m not saying you can’t strive to improve yourself, to be the very best version of yourself, or to add some sparkles and eyelashes when you feel the need to be glamorous- but you’re beautiful! Exactly the way God created you!

Isn’t that what you would tell your daughter? Would you ever look at her and say “you’d be so much cuter if only you had some freckles”! No! You wouldn’t say that to your baby. No matter how old she gets you still look at her with utter amazement that you made that! And guess what? Someone is looking at you the exact same way. So do not go around thinking you have to change who you were perfectly designed to be.

However, if you just can’t get over this whole freckle thing, just call me. I have Fake Freckles 4 Sale, and they won’t look like fake skin pasted on your face.

(Sorry, but I do have 7 kids… that’s a lot of college tuition to pay.)

Oh Sharpie! If this thing takes off, I will love you FOREVER! <3

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