Funny Parents of Twitter Talk Kid Sports, Camp and Activities

1. This is why I send my kids to tee ball with walkie talkies.

2. Ugh. Parents today are so picky about coaches.

3. An app that syncs up crappy weather with soccer practice…get on that, Apple!

4. You can actually pay money to listen to your kids whine. Fun!

5. Five year olds should just be in charge of naming everyone and everything. The world would be a better place.

6. Seriously? We BOTH have to go? This house is a prison.

7. American Idol has been moved from FOX to the soccer field.

8. EXCUSE ME MR. ROAD CONSTRUCTION GUY BUT MY 8 MONTH OLD IS LATE FOR A SWIM CLASS! Actually. You know what? Take your time…

9. Because. You know. It’s Tee Ball. And they’re. You know. Five.

10. Hey, sorry about the jar hands, girls lol #pinterestfail. Now get out on the field and shatter some ass!

11. KEEP YOUR EYE ON THE TISSUE, KID! WAIT! NO! EW! EW! KEEP YOUR NOSE ON THE TISSUE!

12. *Ref cancels game so we can drink wine and dish about which season Tom’s eyes looked the dreamiest*

13. Pro Tip: If you bring a cooler of mimosas to a 7 AM game, everyone wins.

14. Piano recitals need at least one fight scene to be tolerable. A plane crash. Car chase. Give us something.

15. Children are precious.

16. Never show them you’ve let yourself go. Let the dusty old trophies speak for themselves.

17. “…Because in the end, the snacks are all that matters.” -Ghandi. Wait. That might not be right. Does that sound right?