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I Am An Addict


My name is Kristin and I am an addict.

Not drugs. Not alcohol. Not even online shopping (but that one is debatable at the moment.)

I have become addicted to monitoring my E Book sales.

A few days ago my writing partner and I pushed publish on the Amazon dashboard and just like that our first E Book went live for all of the world to see…and buy.  I sat in the den staring at the dashboard.  One sale….two sales…twenty sales.  Holy mother of fuckers we are SELLING OUR BOOK!  It is an amazing thing to see a seed of an idea turn into something real and powerful.  I was hooked, hooked on staring at the sales, the graphs, the royalties, and the ratings on Amazon.

I suppose it started like many other growing additions.  I’ll just peek once at hour at the Best Seller List.  Ok I need more.  I’ll just carry my laptop around the house and refresh the page every ten minutes.  Then the full blown  addiction strikes and before I knew what was even happening I was hiding in my closet, eyes wide watching and waiting to see what happens with this book that we worked so hard on.

My husband begged me to come to bed, but I couldn’t.  The hold was too strong, the pull to the Amazon dashboard had me in its grips.  There was social media to attend to, emails to respond to and send, Facebook groups to check in on.  How could I just push the power down button and walk away?

My bathroom is a war zone.  There are saws, tile, grout, and mortar everywhere.  Normally this home project would be at the forefront of my OCD priority list, but when in the throes of addiction nothing else seems to matter.  Go to hell bathroom renovation, I need to see if I am still on the Hot New Release List dammit!

Just one more sale and I will go to bed.

Just one more page refresh and then I’ll put the laundry away.

One more hit…

Then last night in my Benadryl haze (because yes the whole household is a snot-filled disaster right now) I stumbled down to the kitchen for a glass of water…with my cell phone in hand at ONE IN THE MORNING.  I stopped on the stairs on my way back up to bed and sat down in the darkness to check the sales and rankings of our book.  Really who the hell knows how long I was there, sitting in the darkness with my cell phone in the dead of night.

That my friends is when I knew that I had truly hit rock bottom.  Today I will step away from the illuminated computer screen and into the bright sunshine of the day.  If I am feeling strong enough I might even venture out of the house and beat this thing once and for all.

But just in case you are wondering we are currently number three on Amazon’s best seller list and you can purchase the book HERE!  😉

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