Is Your Sex Toy Taboo?
A husband and wife enter an adult store. They decide they will each pick out one thing and surprise each other with it in the bedroom later that night. The wife decided to pick the largest dildo she could find and the hubs picked out a pink edible thong. They both left the store excited with anticipation at what the other purchased. They lived happily ever after.
The above story never really happened. I don’t imagine most couples even go to Adult Stores. You know the type? A place where you laugh your ass off at some of the off the wall lingerie, lotions, candles, books, cock rings, dildo’s and other items to spice up ones “sex” life. I visited one of these places with my husband long ago and all we did was laugh at everything in the store. Every other word from my mouth was, “what the fuck?” They had glass dildo’s which looked like a table decoration rather than a sex toy. I mean who would possibly want to put anything made of glass in their cooch. And let’s not forget the adult bouncing balls-very much like the kind we had when we were kids except the adult versions have a penis on the top of it so you can bounce away. Yep! This was about ten years ago so who knows what great little gadgets-or big they have come up with now. Maybe, it’s time for another visit you know for research reasons.
Some couples love using toys to heighten their sexual pleasure and that’s perfectly fine but it’s not for everyone. And toys aren’t just for couples. You can certainly buy toys to use alone and that is perfectly fine as well. How many of us own a vibrator? To be honest I do and I am not ashamed or embarrassed to say so. Sometimes, you just need that release in the privacy of your bedroom with you and only you present. I am not one to shy away from talking about sex with my friends although for some it may be uncomfortable. But come on, sometimes you just need to bitch about all things sexual. Whether it’s your partner wanting it constantly like a hormone raged lunatic-and that goes for male or female, not getting any, not getting enough, or how long it lasts. We occasionally carry on about size because SIZE DOES matter! Just like whether or not a vagina is tight or not matters, penis size and girth matters. Nobody wants a baby carrot in their vagina! And if you happen to fall in love with or are dating someone with a baby carrot then you may want to visit an adult store because there are so many things you can use to compensate for that. Or maybe size doesn’t matter to you. Whatever floats your boat.
Now a subject matter which is a bit questionable to many is porn. Most either hate it or enjoy it. I haven’t met anyone quite in the in-between spectrum when it comes to porn. More questions which come to mind when you think about porn: is it healthy for couples to watch porn? Is it healthy to watch porn solo? Can porn become addictive? Does porn give us an unrealistic notion of what sex between couples should be like? I mean Bob and Mary like to get down and dirty in every room of their home five times a day on, “Bob and Mary buy a new house.” And Linda met a hot guy while doing a load of laundry in the basement of her apartment complex and they had wild sex during the spin cycle in, “Linda’s Laundry Day.” Obviously, these are made up scenarios and movies but for some people porn is a necessary. Although I have watched porn movies a few times, I do not prefer it. I am not particular to having someone’s vagina or penis up close and personal on my television screen. Unless it’s Channing Tatum or Chris Pratt. Just saying.
When does porn, buying and using sex toys and sexual expectations become unreal? When is it acceptable? When does it become inappropriate? What are the boundaries? Can any of it hurt or help a relationship? Or is it all just taboo?
Imagine with me if you will the following scenario…
You have the day off from work or you are a work at home parent and like most of us we don’t ever really take the day off. We always have some sort of chores to finish so while sipping on your now cold cup of coffee you decided to tackle those over-stuffed dressers, cabinets and closets. You decide it’s time to shed the extra weight and get some feng-shui flowing through your home. You go into each room of your home and you just start tossing stuff you don’t need onto the floor and it feels so good. And we all have that one drawer or closet where we have stuffed crap into for the past five years. You know shit gifts or things bought and just never used or returned. You decide you are going to tackle that closet once and for all because you are on a mission.
Half way through the closet you come across some boxes. You don’t remember putting these boxes you remember every single item you are pulling out of this closet. You know when you bought it or who bought it for you. So, you pull the boxes out and after you ponder on whether you should just toss them without even looking inside you decide to open box number one just out of curiosity. Inside the box is another box and you are thinking wow, maybe this is my upcoming birthday present or maybe my partner decided to shop early for Christmas. Now you don’t know if you should open it because what if it is a gift for you but of course you open it any way. As soon as you flip open the box you wish you hadn’t because inside that box is not a gift but a doll. And let’s remember what we are talking about here.
You take this doll out of the box and it’s in pieces. The arms are detached from the torso carefully positioned in a separate spot away from the torso. The legs are also detached and carefully positioned elsewhere. The doll has no hair she is bald. She had breasts and damn you are almost jealous because the doll has firm and perky breasts. As your eyes continue further you see it. This doll has a fucking vagina. So you hurriedly reach for the other box and inside this box is a repeat of the first box which is another damn doll with the same perky breasts and fucking vagina. You reach for the smaller box and inside that box are two wigs, one black and one brown. Wigs for the dolls! At this point you are just mortified and disgusted.
But you do it. You do the unthinkable and reach into the box and you feel this dolls plastic vagina because in your head you have a feeling you know who these dolls belong to but you just need to know if they have been used or not. One doll’s PV is wet and the other doll is not wet. Then you think are they supposed to be wet? Now, you are just confused. You don’t know what to do? The dolls are obviously not yours and there is no one else in the house but you and your partner. You try to think of logical explanations but you can’t. Maybe they were sent here by mistake? Maybe he is keeping them for someone else? What should you do now? Should you call your partner? No, just wait and don’t be paranoid you think. But damn it you have two plastic sex dolls
sitting in boxes on your floor.
Of course finding these monstrosities completely mind fucks you. You start to doubt your ability to satisfy your man’s sexual appetite and you start doubting the person he is. You begin to think you don’t know him as well as you thought you did and he suddenly seems a bit creepy. Why are the dolls so small? I mean shit if you are going to invest-can we assume this is an investment, in sex dolls why not get the life sized versions? All these questions are invading your mind and you don’t know what to think. So, you do what most woman do, you call your friend to tell him or her, what you discovered. The first thing they say is leave the fucker that’s gross. Then you discuss the possibility that maybe they were purchased way before you came into the picture. You don’t know what to do. You don’t want your man to think you invaded his privacy but he put those boxes where anyone could find them had they cleaned out the closet.
This ruins your entire day until he walks through that door. And you decide this shit can’t wait anymore…screw it and you ask, “When did you buy those dolls and why?” He doesn’t even flinch or look embarrassed. He says, “Oh, those came in a couple of weeks ago.” The ‘he bought those before you’ theory goes crashing out the window. Then you ask why he bought them. He said he just wanted to try it because he was curious. Umm what? You actually put your penis in one of those things? He replies yes but just once. This explains the wet vagina of one of the dolls. I mean dude you couldn’t even clean it up? Typical man; can’t even keep his sex toys clean. He proceeds to ask you what the big deal is and what the difference is between his sex dolls and your sex toys. What can you say? You own three dildos which you use frequently, what is the difference? The difference is my dildos don’t come attached to a plastic man which I have to assemble. He says but you put those dildos in your vagina and I don’t blink an eye or question you.
What do you say to that? Is there any logical way to answer this? In a way he is right. Sex toys are sex toys. You use them for stimulation and for the times as I mentioned before when you just want to be one with your own body. When does all this become weird or questionable? Are dolls taboo? Would you be okay if you found sex dolls which belonged to your partner? How would you approach it? Would you be mad or hurt? Would it gross you out? I personally would not like it but am I being a hypocrite because I own sex toys? It’s a very touchy feely kind of situation (no pun intended).