Mom Jeans On Campus
I am always trying to become the best version of myself. Sometimes I can excel (always a surprise), and then there are the times I find myself in a complete tailspin, losing control. At those times, while I am literally crashing and burning, I come to the realization that I am usually my own worst enemy. That’s when I jump into full fighter mode, trying like hell not to hit the ground.
My latest self-improvement project has landed me back in College to earn my degree. After all, it seemed like a win-win situation, at least on paper anyway. I would be setting a good example for my girls while improving my earning potential. I would take a few classes at night, maybe even some on-line; classes filled with lots of adult learners such as myself, no big deal…
Then came the first day of classes, and my fear of being the obvious MOM on campus crept in on me like a black hole. I started to sweat, going into full panic mode, asking myself “What the hell was I thinking?” Feeling more like Mrs. Robinson than an adult College Freshman, I came up with a few reasons why I am too old (or think I am anyways) to be sitting in here with a bunch of young adults:
1. I sit at a desk where you can’t cross your legs. MOM translation…I pee my pants when I sneeze. Seriously, I’ve had 3 kids, need I say more? One time in the grocery store while bending over to grab ketchup, a sneeze came out of nowhere. It wasn’t pretty. One more use for plastic grocery bags… car seat covers.
2. I wear “MOM” jeans and didn’t even know it. I had to take my fourteen year old to the mall the other day, and when I came downstairs, my children practically fell to floor laughing at my “total mom outfit” (yes, their exact words). When did this happen?? #I-thought-I-was-hip
3. My night class ends at the time when I am usually tucked in bed, snoring in unison with the television… I have to stay up until what time now?? Say hello to more bags under my eyes, as if the regular MOM bags aren’t bad enough…Really?
4. Those fabulous heels I strutted into work with today have now been replaced by late afternoon MOM flats for comfort. Thank you water retention! Said no one ever…
5. And finally…the nice young man sitting across from me during our first class had to point out how to access the on-line campus; Um…was the deer in the headlights look that obvious on my MOM face??
I mean, I was sitting in a class room full of fellow students who are the same age as my own children. And that’s when the fighter emerged. Who cares if I got lost trying to find the campus bookstore earlier? Or that I couldn’t figure out how to download the eBook for that class? Is it really that silly that I now have a student ID at age forty-something-ish? If enduring one night a week with young people (who show up to class looking like they just rolled out of bed…just saying) means proving to my girls that I wouldn’t expect anything less from them that I wouldn’t expect from myself… I could do this!
MOM log…First semester…. Day one… Yes!! Thank you! There is a GOD… finally another MOM just walked in…I am not alone…