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Pears To Hourglass: The Sisterhood of The Too-Tight Pants

body types

So basically I may have wasted too many years unnecessarily agonizing over my shape. But hang on…this blog post isn’t over before it started. It actually got me thinking. Were all those years of personal pear-shaming really worth it?It takes a deep conversation with an edgy yet classic hourglass to question just that.

Today over coffee I had an epiphany—like a total pop to the forehead “I Coulda Had a V-8” style smack—and it was this—that when women honestly share and compare the sh*%t they deal with surrounding their figures you’d be surprised to know the comparison is not exactly pears to hourglass but more apples to apples. In other words we have much more in common than I once thought. There was never any real need to feel so alienated. We women are in this struggle together…pear, hourglass,inverted triangle however you may view yourself.

I’m sure this is not breaking news to you…the body image part…but to me it was like a much needed release from years of image rage stored in my head. Maybe it was the unusually warm October morning, the delicious hot coffee or the fact that Ms. Hourglass laid it out so well for me that it made perfect sense.

No matter what your shape, the common thread among all of us ladies begins up in our heads. We are ALL just a tad bit messed up in there. Some more than others but mostly we are all trying to come to grips with what we have to work with. Astonishing! So you mean to tell me that even the enviable hourglass body types have it tough? On some level–YES!

It also got me thinking…I’ve haven’t had a real heart to heart conversation with a friend about this topic since probably sleep away camp. The idea that most women feel this way felt calming. A sisterhood of the “too tight pants” if you will. I’d like to share some excepts of this conversation with you here.

P: Ugh! Why did we meet in this coffee shop!?!It smells ahmazing (as I eye a freshly baked muffin in the case)

HG:I like to support local businesses (she takes a sip of bottled water)

P:So, hourglass figure? Really? In my head I was thinking more pencil.

HG:Yes, I’ve got wide shoulders, tucked waist and a long torso. Buying jeans is hell!

P:C’mon you look to me as someone who has a dream situation. Walk into store, find jeans, buy jeans, walk out. Happy dance to the car.

HG: Not at all. Hate it. I hate tight jeans. It goes back to my body image and growing up. As you know all women have something about their body that they hate. If I gain like 2 pounds it sends me over the top. I can’t stand how tight clothes get. On a 5’2″ frame 2 pounds is a lot and can be the difference between jeans sizes for me.

P:I so get it but unfortunately for my situation it takes a good 10 pounds for me to start feeling uncomfortable and physically go up a size. Hmmmm still feeling you are somewhat winning here.

HG: So here’s my crazy…I count my ribs.

P: Well um, I constantly put my hands around my waist to make sure it hasn’t spread!

HG:I am sizes bigger on top than I am on the bottom! I don’t buy dresses. My shoulders are too wide which means the hip area, though I may have narrow hips, is inevitably going to be too big. Some dresses look like a sack on me.

P: I knew we were destined to be friends…I hate dresses for my frame too. I’m small on the top but larger below the belt…therefore I am buying a dress one size too big to accommodate my thighs but the top will be falling off me. HELLO CLASSIC PEAR?!

HG: Oh please I wear the same 5 things in my wardrobe all the time because shopping is a pain the ass for me. Seriously Amy, if you feel beautiful you will look beautiful no matter what you are wearing. Be confident not crazy about your clothing choices.

P:I think I love you. You get me.

HG: So what are doing after this..want to go to the mall?

P: Hell yeah!

According to the March 2015 issue of GLAMOUR “men go ga ga for big butts.” Score one for us Pears. I mean if it’s in print and on the Internet it must be real…right? No more body slamming for me. Unless it’s with a pear lover.

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