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Social Media – Office Banter

After working in Corporate America for about 25 years – 16 of those in Human Resources – you can safely assume that I’ve been afforded quite the opportunity to observe the best and worst of human interactions.  Which is keenly similar to how social media lets us observe mankind these days, right?  What if we merged the two worlds?

Some common office life scenarios with a social media spin…

Let’s check in and tell everyone where we are, how we feel and what we’re doing….

Checked into the office and is feeling tired.  Monday again. #wheredidtheweekendgo

Melissa is freezing!  ISO a big fat sweater! @facilitiesdepartment – FYI!  Turn down the A/C….#moremoneyfortheshareholders

Feeling confused…Here’s a new one…[email protected] just met with a candidate for your job opening.  She brought her mother to the interview!  Granted she stayed in the reception area, but still. #youcantmakethisstuffup

Melissa is disgusted….I’ll never understand the “pee on the toilet seat and not clean it up” concept.  Just me?

Melissa is perplexed…why is my work husband not responding to her email?  He must have died. Or he better have died. J/K!

Checked into the conference room with @Elena, @Phyllis and @Sarah.  IMHO, yet another meeting that could have been an email.

Melissa checked into the Marriott Hotel in Boston… Department offsite meeting for the next 2 days! #sororitymeeting

Instagram Style:

WTH kind of team building exercise is this?


Casual Friday gone too far? #smileforthecamera #imtellingHR

Matthew Levinson dresses casually on Fridays at NJF Public Relations at 35 East 21st street in Manhattan. Pulse. Photo by Zandy Mangold

Casual Friday really gone too far? #putsomeclotheson #TMI


Unless this has your name on it, please leave it alone. #stopstealingmyfood


What the office looks like on Christmas Eve…….#cuethetumbleweeds


Office Tweets:

TGIF!  This has been the week from hell….drinks @crystal @amy @carrie? #DonttellHR  

I’ll never understand talking on your cell phone in the bathroom stall… #awkward.

It’s like Groundhog Day with these password issues.  @billmurray Can you help? Every morning. Please submit a ticket to the help desk they say.  #Howcanidothatifiamlockedout #wherearethesmartpeople

Finally listened to all of my voice mail messages.  I had 27.  TWENTY-SEVEN!  Text or email, my friends. #whocallspeopleanymore #its2017not1995

Whoever invented speak phone is laughing their ass off right now at us morons. #canyouhearmenow

What’s the one thing that gets the accounting department moving?  When another department has a team meeting, caters in lunch and there are leftovers.  #scavengers

How many birthdays, work anniversaries, baby showers and wedding celebrations can we possibly celebrate? All these cakes are making me fat – and FWIW I can’t get to the gym because I’m always here working!  #weightwatcherstakemyaway #qualityofworklifemybigbutt

Holding my nose.  ICYMI….You DO NOT cook fish in a work microwave.

Hold on there cowboy…you can use a breath mint.  #closetalker

The refrigerator is NOT to used as a garbage disposal. Throw your food away if you don’t want it.  #growup

IDBI How many times do I have to introduce myself to this dude in marketing? #howdoyounotknowwhoIambynow?

The awkward elevator good mornings….if I don’t look at the CEO, he can’t see me right?

@Jeff can we please stop having pre-meetings to talk about the real meeting?  #wasteoftime #agendaplease  SMH

When you send an email to a colleague and they reply and copy in your boss.  GR8. The CYA tactic is so unattractive.

@YC, what’s the NUB doing?  Doesn’t he know that water cooler chats don’t really happen AT the water cooler? 

Yet another restructuring effort.  Hmm….this approach sounds familiar. Oh, I know! This one seems to return us to the processes and structure we had right before this most recent reorganization.  #againsmartpeople #corporateamerica

You’re going to need the Pope’s approval on that job requisition  #goodluckwiththat

FWIW….let me get this straight.  There is a hiring freeze and a salary freeze, but still totally cool to take the whole sales group to Costa Rica?  Just my POV.

How do you know that you rock at your job?  You consistently receive all the assignments that others don’t finish.  DIY slackers.

When your new boss looks astonished as you reference the BOAT people – an acronym that could be consider slightly un-PC……BOAT = Business Operations Analyst Team #itsallabouttheacronyms

Don’t let the printer see you nervous.  They know.  #dontletthemseeyousweat I neeeeed that document for @John!

Yea, yea, we know you were on mute…..Yea, yea, we know you have a hard stop at 11am…..Yea, yea….we all received the document before the call. #conferencecallssuck

Hey there @Steven – thanks for being late to the meeting.  Time to review everything again.  #bangmyhead

Having soooo many meetings/calls that you never have time to do the work.  WTF

Hey @IT – Is “Clear your cache” is the new “Turn off the computer and turn it on again?”  #submitaticket

@Michelle – Bob’s last day is Friday….let’s go raid his office! #toosoon? LMAO!

OMG, HR just walked by with cardboard boxes. Who is getting canned now? #Grimreaper 

Any of this sound familiar? Office-isms can be frustrating, predictable and irk the hell of us, but at the same time they sorta keep it interesting and entertaining…..

Hopefully if you work in an office, this gave you a chuckle or two.

And if you haven’t had the pleasure of the office experience, it’s possible these social media office-isms may give you the hint to stay far, far away…IMHO, that is.

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