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The (Second) Wedding of My Dreams

Every girl dreams of her wedding day. With the big white dress, the Church, the cake, gorgeous flowers everywhere, limos, and hordes of bridesmaids. Ah yes, the complete fairy tale wedding. And let’s not forget our Prince Charming. And that’s exactly what I had…or thought I had anyways. You see, my Prince Charming turned out to be a toad…covered in really icky warts. I am most certain he was always a toad; I just couldn’t see all the damn icky warts thru my broken love goggles. That’s the thing about love goggles… you have to make sure they are in proper working order before you put them on.

Fast forward twenty four years with three amazing teenage daughters and one divorce under my belt later. With my love goggles in perfect working condition, I am newly (as in Christmas day new) engaged to the love of my life. Right about now, some of you may be cursing me under your breath thinking lucky Bitch, right? Wrong… I had to fight my way out of a big murky West Nile virus carrying pond infested with all kinds of shithead toads. It was Hell. I often found myself believing I would end up old and alone, not wanting another useless toad. But, we can just save those awesome little adventures for another time. Back to the present, the love of my life and our very recent engagement.

You see, I have been with the love of my life for a little over 4 years. After thinking he was never going to get off his ass and propose, he managed to surprise me with a ring. And of course, I am going to relish every second of being engaged. I have yet to stop annoying my youngest offspring by sticking out my hand and asking “Can you believe I’m engaged?!” She was enthusiastic at first with her responses. Now it’s down to a “yes mom, I can” reply, followed with the ever joyous rolling of the eyes that we know all teenagers excel at.

What I am not so excited about is the dreaded question that comes after people find out about your engagement… the dreaded “Have you set a date yet?” Just for the record, I would marry the love of my life today, tomorrow, any day, week, month or year. My dilemma is not the when but the how? We both have already had our big wedding and being in my 40’s, the wedding dress is just not happening. Like at all. Not to mention, no one wants to see a 40’ ish mother of practically grown children in one either.

So what’s appropriate for a second wedding for couples with teen aged children who are in their 40’s? I turned to my family for help, but in true sisterly fashion, all my sisters have different ideas on the how to part. Do we get married in the Catholic Church? I am all for that, however, the love of my life is not Catholic but willing to do whatever makes me happy. Do we have a big reception? A small intimate affair? Should we invite extended family? Coworkers? Friends? How about going to the Justice of the Peace? Do we include my girls and his daughter? Do our children even care to be included? Should it be just the two of us, hopping on the first plane afterwards to our Honeymoon? There is always the possibility of a destination wedding, with or without our girls, family, etc? Maybe an Elvis Vegas wedding? My head starts spinning and I get overwhelmed, nothing and everything feels right.

I wonder, am I alone in my quest to make our wedding day special in a befitting manner for all involved?  Is this normal for second timers to feel this way? And how in the hell do I begin to navigate my way through all the choices…


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