On some random Saturday when we were young, my sister and I were chowing down on some Pringles. My one-of-a-kind grandfather noticed and immediately scolded us saying that we shouldn’t eat those anymore because they are not real potatoes. He said they...
Both my boys are huge fans of Leonardo Di Caprio. My oldest loves the movie Titanic, and my youngest takes a liking to anything his older brother does, so we've read countless books, trivia, and watched a plethora of documentaries,...
God Lord Almighty why oh why do I do this to myself! Two days ago the girls and I decided to give our little swing set/playscape a face lift. What I envisioned as a fun, easy, summer family project turned...
There's often a village of humans helping us find our way in this crazy world, especially as we're growing up. The village may be comprised of our parents, grandparents, other relatives, friends of the family, teachers, etc... Not everyone's village...
My son's little league career ended this spring....it's quite alright....no big drama. He simply aged out of the program and doesn't have the skill or desire to continue on to more competitive teams... It was a wonderful experience for all of...
I used to be a crafty, creative person. Decades before Pinterest existed, I fucking was the Pinterest. I used to make Christmas sweatshirts with iron on fabrics and puff paint. I painted wooden perpetual calendars and I was Modpodging the...
As I'm desperately working to finalize the yearbook for my daughter's elementary school, I keep thinking...WHY did I raise my hand for this? HOW did this happen? Did I really volunteer for this?! I mutter, "Man, this is a lot of work....
Christina was the female equivalent of the male “tall dark and handsome”- she was long and lean, elegant. She had deep brown eyes, olive skin, and rich black hair. She was mysterious and witty, and had a slow, broad smile...
One recent Wednesday afternoon my 3rd grade daughter - I'll just call her M - came off the bus visibly upset. She's a moody one, so sometimes she comes off the bus cranky and kvetchy, but this was full on misery. She...
It's a slippery slope my friends and we are headed down the rabbit hole fast. The latest for me, my Mrs. and our shanah maideleh kinder (sweet beautiful girls) is our invisibility in the upcoming Census. It's been announced that there will not be an...
America. It's a word that conjures up any number of ideas: the American Dream, Hollywood, multiculturalism, athleticism (okay, and obesity), pop culture...and, now, maybe even Donald Trump. I am a US citizen, not from a long line of proud...
America's latest controversy is over leggings (so proud!) If you've been hiding behind your Levi's over the past few days, I'll briefly fill you in - United Airlines did not allow 3 females, including at 10 year old girl, to...
Here in the UK, a recent article in The Guardian Newspaper, called We need to stop being coy about periods and tampons, hit upon the fact that perhaps "the people in charge of public happiness, health and hygiene" aren’t in...
Ever since moving to Massachusetts, I’ve slowly acclimated to the Road Rage culture that perpetuates every driving experience in this God forsaken state. It’s not pretty, it’s anything but pleasant and it’s certainly not street legal. Half of learning how...
There certain expectation of women, especially mothers, which exist in our society. A picture-perfect home, a home-cooked meal, and presentable kids in ironed clothing, sans chocolate face … Many of us have been bucking the system out of downright necessity....
It is an intense feeling I had no idea existed. Or why. Buried deep and unearthed only when I realized how much I missed. I was watching but I wasn't really listening or savoring. Then poof! My almost 8-year-olds hand...
Do I smell? I don’t think I do. I mean, I wear deodorant. Fuck, I even spray my vag with that FDS shit. Clearly, I do not stink. It has to be something else...There has to be some other reason...
I'm sorry, I can't do lunch today. But you work from home, don't you? What was the 3rd word you just said? Work? Yep, that one. But don't you make your own hours? No, not really. You just work part...
In the years leading up to motherhood (as in my late twenties), I sucked at sleeping late on weekends. I consistently popped up between 6:30 and 7 a.m. every morning because my body was conditioned for the weekday wakeup. And...
Why Can't I Be Like Other People? Someone overheard you say these words. And that someone relayed that to me. My heart has been sitting in my throat ever since and there are tears in my eyes that won't dry. If...
We live in a country where carrying a toy gun while being brown or black or even just ethnically ambiguous can get you murdered by law enforcement, with impunity. As the daughter of a Mexican-American police officer in South Texas,...
This past week, I avoided watching the inauguration, and instead, had lunch with a girlfriend. Then I continued to avoid watching it by running errands and drinking iced coffee in the sunshine while I worked. I suspect if I’d started...
This week the world learned that there are claims our soon to be President engaged in very dirty sexual acts (aka Golden Showers). Between some of the immediate hash tagging, “#pissedoff, “#goldenshowers, “#urinetrouble, “ it was obvious that this one...
Dear Pregnant Jen, There is so much I wish I could tell you before you go into labor on that first night of Passover, March 25, 2016. Yes, you will go into labor during the first night of Seder while...
Divorce is grief. People categorize it differently, like a life change or a transition or maybe even a tragedy. They focus on the finances, who gets the kids, and if the adults are acting decent or like jack asses. But...
Doesn’t that sound like an ominous movie title? Like you can hear the creepy-ass music building up, as you see scene flashes of a negative bank account, the cell phone saying “no service,” the harried mom yelling at the youngest...
My daughter recently came home from school and told me that a little boy on the playground was pushing her around. Not so much physically, she reported, but more verbally. Telling her she couldn’t be friends with so-and-so, that she...
Deadpan eyes. Those perfectly set hair buns. A facial expression that could stop storm troopers but enough femininity to make Luke trip over himself. Growing up in the 80's it was all Barbies in pink with tiny waists and My...
I feel fairly confident I’m not the first to say that the holidays can be weird. Holidays are joy and goodness and light, but they’re also funny because they bring up so much "stuff" for everyone. There aren’t many other...
You know what I like? I like waking up in the morning and still seeing the white scape of the moon in the morning sky. And it's imprinted in the blue just like it was the night before when I...
December 25th is my daughter's birthday - more popularly known as Christmas Day, of course. We were celebrating all the holiday occasions with my husband's side of the family when my sister texted me "OMG did you hear about George...
I live on the edge of a college campus, the one that I attended for undergrad and graduate school. I grew up on another edge of that same campus as a kid, so I’m well-acquainted with the space. I walk...
Something I've discovered is that even during Christmas time the internet is a dark, vacuous place full of cruelty and ugliness. And now it's about to get even uglier because this is literally a list of things that are making...
Friends I have four young children. I think you can all use your imaginations to visualize how many stupid, life destroying plastic toys might currently lurk in our home. One ranty summer day I wrote about the toys that I...
#1 Being first and doing it alone doesn't mean you are brave, just stupid -there's no rush to the top and having cancer has taught me that I can't go it alone #2 Being perfect. Yep. There are typos in...
"You're having a girl!" A wha? Really? "Yes, you see those 3 little lines? Those indicate girl parts." That completely took me by surprise. I figured that I'd be having another boy. Wow, a girl. Crap, a girl - ouch. Immediately I thought "drama"...
Each the year the holidays approach with lots of excitement and preparation. Plans made, decorations hung up, recipes cooked, and presents purchased – and create and mail those customized holiday cards. Some families take special pictures specifically for the holidays, but we typically use candids...
I don’t know if everybody gets it, but I’m grateful for my divorce. Or, I guess I should say, my separation. My divorce isn’t yet final, but it’s on it’s way. And I’m thankful for that. This is the sort...
Well friends, if there was ever going to be a two way tie for crap-tastic mother of the year, it will be going to the Midwestern Misfit Mom Team Barrie Bismark and Kristin McCarthy. Between the two ranty, snarky moms...
“Because the Elf on the Shelf isn't real.” The words left my mouth and I didn't stop them. They were glassy--sharp right angles delivered to the wrong person. I meant the words but they weren’t for my daughter. They were...
Preface: Mom has ongoing internal conflict on how to advocate for middle school aged son with ADHD. Act 1: Flashback Summer 2016: Summer before son starts 7th Grade, which is his 2nd year of middle school. Scene 1: One Sunny Summer Day:...
I have a confession. I didn’t vote. It’s not for the reasons that we’ve heard over and over again this election season, that “neither one is a good option.” I actually think there was a great option. My reason was...
Some moms spend hours every day searching on pinning on Pinterest. I’m not that mom. Some moms pin their own recipes, crafts, and décor with their own photos from their own lives. I’m not that mom. Some moms make cute...
I am Huma. I don’t want to talk about emails, in fact, I don't know anything about emails. However, I do know what it's like to want nothing more than to go back in time and choose a husband who wouldn't cheat,...
Dear Management, I wanted to write you a quick letter. I am sure you haven’t thought twice about me since you fired me for really no quantifiable reason earlier this year. But I think about you all the time. I...
Recently I thought that maybe I had a dreaded yeast infection. No biggie... I thought to myself. I'll just grab one of those creams up at the local drugstore and nip this thing in the bud after the kiddies go to...
"It's a squishy one, Mum," was shouted from the toilet. Great. Just. Freakin'. Great. Today, I needed to feel more than just an on tap arse wiper. It was a nothing Wednesday. Hump day. A long, long way from Friday....
A few weeks ago I traveled to Atlanta to attend "The Warrior Mom Conference" for Postpartum Progress (#warriorconmom) in Atlanta. The Warrior Mom™ Conference is a patient-centered, community-focused conference for survivors of perinatal mood and anxiety disorders, and those still working toward...
In my professional life I work as an Enrollment Counselor for a child care & preschool organization. For the past 6 years I have had the privilege of connecting with many parents of newborns who are exploring their option for child care. And even though I am...
The Commuter Shuffle is what I lovingly referred to the walking portions of a long commute - walking from the subway to the commuter rail; or walking to/from the railroad station to home; or to/from the train to your car. 5 days a week with...