When Friendship Has Miles and Miles to Go
I would love nothing more than to be able to prove the naysayers wrong, but I’m just not so sure anymore. I never wanted to believe the status quo or what others have tried to tell me in the past that once you have children your single friends “don’t understand.” They say that you’ll no longer be able to relate to their crazed lifestyle, and that your friendships with them will never be the same. True or False?
Despite all of the hype, I very much want to believe that my single friends and I are able to remain as close of friends as we once were. Much to my chagrin, I feel my attention span shortening and my patience and interest waning when I hear about sexcapades, all-nighters and what they think constitutes as a crisis. Although, I do sometimes envy their freedom and honestly admit that there are times when I’ve mourned my former self, and the crazy fun times we had together. Yet, I find myself less interested in living vicariously via recaps of tales of weekends and drunken debacles, but I’ve also felt myself less interested in a LOT of things lately as priorities have shifted more so than I ever expected, but I’m honestly okay with it.
Admittedly, I find myself gravitating more toward women I know who have children, or even looking for more mom friends. What’s more, I’ve even found myself eager/desperate enough to meet a complete stranger at a Starbucks with the hope that we can compare notes and swap stories on our trials and tribulations of child rearing and crazy undulations of the mind. Plain and simple, we just have more to talk about, more to complain about; and more importantly, more similar experiences to share and relate on. We’re on the same page in life and we are faced with many of the same challenges and confused states of mind not necessarily induced by a foreign substance, but instead simply by circumstantial humbling instruments of reality.
I can clearly remember my father’s advice growing up that it’s never a good idea to burn any bridges because you never know who may cross your path at some other point in your life. This notion has always stuck with me and has rung very true through the trajectory of my lifespan thus far. It’s probably even more important today with the inter-connectedness, seemingly of everyone because of the internet and social media, which have invariably made the world all that smaller.
Nevertheless, the stubborn streak in me has always felt that really, truly good friends have miles and miles to go. I’ve always been the kind of person to try my very best to stay in touch with people throughout my life and to give people the space that they need to grow and flourish. I’ve also been a lover of the quote “Some people come into our lives and quickly go. Some stay for awhile and leave footprints on our hearts, and we are never, ever the same.” (Unknown). In addition to the truth behind this quote, I also think that sometimes you have to let people be themselves and if they’re truly meant to be in your life, they’ll come back.
I do my best not to judge others and it’s always been important to me to form an eclectic array of relationships with people throughout many different kinds of interests, age groups, ethnicities, and backgrounds because I strongly believe that this is essential in really trying to be a more understanding person. To me diversity is imperative in providing a broader perspective on life because who really wants a whole bunch of the same…it gets incredibly boring.
As I get older, I’ve also begun to realize how extremely important it is to nurture the relationships that I already have. Sadly, we quite often forget to value and cherish the most important people in our lives. I however make it a point NOT to remain in contact with people who held a negative vibe or had a negative impact on my own energy and flow of life; and I’ve since been more diligent about letting these people fade into my past. But for those of my friends who need to go their own way for some time, I can only hope that we have miles and miles to go.