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When Your Teenagers Play Dumb

So I am a fairly reasonable mom. My demands for my girls are simple and have pretty much not changed their whole existence. It’s not like I am asking ridiculous things from them…unless of course you ask my children.  Apparently having my girls put a dish in the dishwasher or vacuum the living room is the equivalent to them running naked through school; totally reprehensible.

One time my eldest daughter even thought she could  get away with “fake vacuuming”.  You know… taking the vacuum out and pretty much running it over the carpet to ensure vacuum lines thus tricking the unsuspecting mother.  Little did she realize that she was vacuuming… it required the same freaking effort had she actually plugged it in. She did get away with it for a day or two. Mental note to teenagers… make sure there isn’t crap in the same spot for days on end when using the “fake vacuuming” technique. And people wonder why moms drink… seriously??

But there is one thing that really gets my goat… okay, there are several things but this is what I am on my soap box for today.  It’s a very simple concept to grasp… when you reheat food in the microwave… cover it with a paper towel so it doesn’t splatter all over the place!  Nothing like opening up the microwave and having it look like a damn crime scene with food exploded everywhere.  It literally drives me over the edge… maybe that’s what my children are trying to accomplish. And they are succeeding so Mom… none… children… one.

Here are possible reasons why my teenage children refuse to use paper towels over food when cooking in the microwave:

  1. They suffer from amnesia and can’t remember me telling them a zillion f****n times to cover the food
  2. There was a zombie apocalypse where both arms got ripped off after placing the food in the microwave so they obviously couldn’t cover it
  3. They totally forgot how to use a paper towel….. Thinking they are strictly for decoration??
  4. They don’t realize that the paper towel holder is literally 2 feet from the microwave; located in the kitchen near the food and not in some foreign land miles away
  5. They are easily confused and believe its opposite day… so like do the exact opposite of what you say??
  6. They get a kick out of seeing my lose my shit and watching steam rise off the top of my head
  7. I just think I am speaking plain English…. when clearly there must be some weird unrecognizable language coming out of my mouth…
  8. They. Just. Don’t. Give a shit….

As I realize that number 8 is most likely the reason… I will continue to go through the motions of me screaming like a lunatic and my children looking at me like I am crazed psycho. I’m a mom… it’s what we do.

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