Why Dan Scotti Cannot Date my Daughters…EVER…
My morning started out in my typical normal fashion… rush to work narrowly escaping being late…again (I’m an expert in the 50 meter high heel dash from car to building), inhaling coffee (mostly to wake my ass up by overdosing with caffeine), and my quick fix of morning Facebook creeping (my obsessive need to know what the world is thinking even though I really don’t care). It was during that morning creeping that I ran across a “suggested post” on Facebook that caught my attention… What Guys Really Think When You Sleep with Them on the First Date (Dan Scotti of Elite Daily)… and had really put my panties in a wad. ( http://elitedaily.com/dating/guys-think-first-date/1048024 ).
Against my better judgment, I clicked to read, even though I was pretty sure I already knew what guys thought about girls who did that. I am constantly preaching to my daughters how guys will say or do anything to get our “cookie” and not care; they just want the “cookie” at any cost. I was getting ready to put some useful ammo in my arsenal for future talks to reinforce that with my girls. As a mom, I am always on the lookout for such things.
As I started reading, I thought maybe I was about to be proven wrong (I had my big girl panties on and was prepared to be humbled). With the first part of the article speaking about how society treats the gender standards for having sex unfairly, I thought it was pretty spot on. There is the double standard when it comes to men and women sleeping around. And sometimes society is stuck in decades past for the whole men and women equality blah blah blah. When it comes to my girls, I warn them not to put too much focus on what society thinks. Especially today’s society, with all the cry babies who think life is unfair. A society that wants no winners or losers when it comes to children’s sports, no child left behind in school and giving out participation awards for trying. Society’s lack of leaving anything to one’s imagination; showing lewd sexual behavior, drugs and whatever gets ratings. But so far, the article had me guessing… Maybe I was going to learn something new or have a new prospective to enlighten my girls with?
And then, there it was… the dreaded man who wants the cookie and will say anything to get it quote… “As a guy, however, I can explain why I don’t see anything wrong with a woman-or anyone – having sex on the first date”. Of course you don’t! You’re a guy! And guys don’t think like girls do… in any perspective. Sex does not have the same meaning to guys as it does to girls. He even goes on to say that it puts no bearing on your self-worth or shouldn’t speak to your character if you have sex on the first date. It does however, in my mind, speak for his.
We all know that when married couples talk about their first date, you never hear… “Yeah, I nailed her on our first date and then I respected her so much for it I brought her home to meet my mother and married her”. I mean, sure, he might call you a time or two after that, usually for the late night booty meet up. But I can assure you a guy does not consider you relationship material if you’re willing to jump in the sack with him right out of the starting gate. Period.
Maybe society isn’t wrong when it comes to judging women who have sex on the first date? Why should we let our daughters think having casual meaningless sex is acceptable? What happened to protecting our “cookie” by putting a value on it? Do we want our children to view sex as everyday things we do like going out to eat or doing housework?
I can assure you, I do not want my daughters adapting to that view of society. And I certainly would not want my daughters dating anyone who uses that to view of society to their advantage. Sex is the icing on cake…it’s the bonus to an already amazing wonderful connection. You don’t start out making a cake with the icing. You have to add the right ingredients and bake it for a while first. If not, you will end up with a big pile of useless empty icing. Let’s face it… no icing is worth skipping the best part…the actual cake. I will continue to preach to my daughters about their value and self-worth until it is embedded into their tiny hormonal teenaged brains. And the importance of not sleeping around with just any Tom, Dick or Dan Scotti…ever.